All Blues - Miles Davis

and when the morning comes

can't wait until june...

tell you when to go, i won't

Shame, Who Wouldn't Think It's...

when transient of mind
you have nothing to play sentinel to
emotional output
corresponding with
thoughts as catalyst

these daydreams
when reality falls into a
disheartening, disenfranchised grey...
is it all that you wanted?
it's all you will have left

a nagging doubt
incumbent on my better judgement
too much time passes, leaving possibilities shattered
with their pieces, imitating those of a puzzle
strewn about my peripheral

i walk on

Sun Opens My Eyes - Wavves

I doubt anyone who reads this would be surprised when hearing me talk about how surprised and flustered I am with how much homework I have, what with only three classes. This is the old becoming new for me, and the falling back into it has been difficult. If nothing else, it has proven to be a reinforcement of the notion I have that I am not academically inclined. At least not now, within my current social environment. I am not well trained in the art of balancing work, school, and play. My mind is always want of wandering, and I allow it free reign because it makes me happy, the day-to-day easier to cope with.

My inconsistency with devotion to concentration is the very antithesis of what school requires. I'm not smart that way, never was. There is a certain knack many seem to have in accommodating the system. I am not one of them, and I am alright with that. I have always been alright with that, but I am often taken best of on account of a weak will. As consequence, I let the ideas of other people regarding what is the right and best way to go about something become mine. I undermine my own intuition for the sake of evading quarrel and opposition. To hate confrontation so much that you sacrifice your backbone? This story find it's ready protagonist in yours truly, and it's an awful sad fact.
I would like to think that my ineptitude in that area suggests strengths in others. Of course, here I am fighting a losing battle trying to engage myself in something I don't care about instead of trying to hone in on those areas of potential. This avenue is not suited for me, and it is high time I started searching out the one that is.

Les Preludes - Franz Liszt, Po...

marry me

Lykke Li @ NTBR Part 4 - "Hustlin'" from Drew Innis on Vimeo.


St Vincent: Marry Me from shoottheplayer.com on Vimeo.


Alela Diane "As White As Diamonds" from ristuart on Vimeo.


Rio En Medio - The Umbrella from Eli Stonberg on Vimeo.

female singer-songwriters make up a large portion of my itunes selection these days.

striped pillow cases

it never hurts to try and go about your own way. i feel like continuing with this course of action is nothing more than a slow and steady endeavor towards setting myself up for emotional repose. the world is my funeral parlor, and the roses never smelled as lovely.
but of course, i indulge quick and easy in dramatics.

just as i was saying in conversation with john the other day, i fall prey to cycles. routines comforting in their consistency, and ultimately poison for the soul that yearns for the extraordinary. and you would not believe the amount of time in any given day of my life that is dedicated to daydreams. it's all one can do to keep his sense of wonder when the world provided for you by every over human being is lined with a crippling monotony that is impressively disturbing in it's reach.

all i want from life right now is a quiet place in the oregon hills, a kayak, a bassett hound named bastion, and a vegetable garden.

While You Wait for the Others - Grizzly Bear

Fangela - Here We Go Magic

You Are Lost - Bonnie Prince Billy